Thoughts of the Week Page 10
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“When you have a choice between stupidity and ignorance, pick ignorance. It's curable.”

Mikey's Funnies

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"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."

--Pastor Tim

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"Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever."

Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

“The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.”

-- Plutarch

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Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's a cargo? Footnote

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"Memories and mistakes should be guideposts, not hitching posts."

--Paul Powers

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"Be more like a child today, for children sing whether they sound good or not." (1)

1. Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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If you're a cynic, everyone's corrupt. If you're an idealist, everyone's corrupt, except you. (1)

1. Mikey's Funnies [funnies-owner@lists.MikeysFunnies.com]

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When having dinner with chess players, never sit at a table with a checkered cloth. It could take them hours to pass you the salt. (1)

1. Mikey's Funnies [funnies-owner@lists.MikeysFunnies.com]

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When having dinner with chess players, never sit at a table with a checkered cloth. It could take them hours to pass you the salt. (1)

1. Mikey's Funnies [funnies-owner@lists.MikeysFunnies.com]

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"The reason a smile is better than a frown is that a smile makes you look five years younger." (1)

1. Rev. Denny J. Brake, Raleigh, NC

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Political Procedure: Somebody speaks at length but says nothing, nobody listens, and then everybody disagrees. (1)

1. Mikey's Funnies [funnies-owner@lists.MikeysFunnies.com]

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True or False?

Political Procedure: Somebody speaks at length but says nothing, nobody listens, and then everybody disagrees. (1)

1. Mikey's Funnies [funnies-owner@lists.MikeysFunnies.com]

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"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are." (1)

1. Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org

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There are two rules for success in life:

Rule 1: Don't tell people everything you know.1

1Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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“The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.”

--Herbert Spencer

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"If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud."

--Émile Zola

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"He who slings mud generally loses ground." (1)

1. Mikey's Funnies [funnies-owner@lists.MikeysFunnies.com]

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"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the driveway before it has stopped snowing." (1)

1. Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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"A whole stack of memories never equals one little hope."

-Charles Schulz

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"Unless you can create the WHOLE universe in 5 days, then perhaps giving "advice" to God, isn't such a good idea!" (1)

1. Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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"Mankind will never see an end of trouble until...lovers of wisdom come to hold political power, or the holders of power...become lovers of wisdom."

--Plato, The Republic

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"When people are laughing, they're generally not killing one another."

-Alan Alda quoted in The Joyful Noiseletter, January 2009, p. 4

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Only one thing is certain - that is, nothing is certain. If this statement is true, it is also false.

Ancient Paradox

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"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it."

--Henry Ford

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"We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors...but they all have to learn to live in the same box." (1)

1. Received from: Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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"When you have nothing important or interesting to say! don't let anyone persuade you to say it."

--H. Jackson Brown! Jr.

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"Children will soon forget your presents; they will always remember your presence." (1)

1. Retrieved from Mikey's Funnies

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"As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes."

--Mel Brooks

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If you are not content with what you have, you'll never be content with what you want.

--Mike Atkinson

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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it. (1)

1. Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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Don't worry what people think of you. They seldom do...

--Mike Atkinson

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"Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other."

--Oscar Ameringer

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"Today is the first day of the rest of your life but so was yesterday and look how you messed that up." (1)

1. Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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"Our goal to promote a non-threatening and productive office environment is to establish language that is gender-neutral, ethnic-neutral, and age-neutral while celebrating our spirit of diversity." (1)

1. Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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"Memories and mistakes should be guideposts, not hitching posts."

--Paul Powers

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"When you win, say nothing. When you lose, say less."

--Paul Brown (Former Head Coach, Cleveland Browns, Cincinnati Bengal's)

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"Happiness can't buy money."

--Bob Hope

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"Be more like a child today, for children sing whether they sound good or not." (1)

1. Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end."

--Gilda Radner (Gilda Radner died from breast cancer.)

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"Where does the idea come from that if what we are doing is fun, it can't be God's will? The God who made giraffes, has a sense of humor. Make no mistake about that."

--Catherine Marshall

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"At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all. I just can't remember it all." (1)

1. Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. (1)

1. Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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"When you're over 50 you can still do all the things you did when you were 17 if you don't mind making an idiot of yourself." (1)

1. Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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"Personally I am always ready to learn, but I do not always like being taught."

--Winston Churchill

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"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session."

--Mark Twain (1866)

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"At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all. I just can't remember it all." (1)

1. Mikey's Funnies [funnies-owner@lists.MikeysFunnies.com]

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"I wouldn't have been in such a hurry to grow up, if I'd known that so much of adulthood is ad-libbed." (1)

1. Mikey's Funnies [funnies-owner@lists.MikeysFunnies.com]

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"If you want to test your memory, try to remember what you were worrying about one year ago today."

--E. Joseph Cossman (1)

1. Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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"Taking the bull by the horns is often a sound course of action...as long as you and the bull agree on when to let go." (1)

1. Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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"You can't be truly rude until you understand good manners."

--Rita Mae Brown

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"A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem." (1)

1. Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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"You can be on the right track and still get hit by a train!" (1)

1. Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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Kissing - A means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other.

Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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"Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish."

--Mark Twain

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"Vision is not enough; it must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps. We must step up the stairs."

--Vaclav Havel

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"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light."

--Plato

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"A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin."

--H. L. Mencken

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"I always make the same resolution and I have never once broken it: Every year I resolve to give something up for Lent and then when Lent comes I give up my New Years resolution."

--Mike Atkinson (Mikeys Funnies)

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"Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't."

--Richard Bach

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"None are so empty as those who are full of themselves."

--Andrew Jackson

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Every silver lining has a cloud. (1)

1. Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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"The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat." (1)

1. The Good, Clean Funnies List [gcfl-info@gcfl.net]

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"Anytime you have a 50/50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong." (1)

1. Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

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"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

--George Bernard Shaw 

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