A Bit of Humor, Page  19

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An older couple was asking for a room with a king, queen or double bed. The clerk apologized and said that the only rooms available had twin beds.

Disappointed, the man remarked, "I don't know. We've been sharing the same bed for 44 years."

"Could you possibly put them close together?" the wife asked.

Several people nearby smiled, and someone commented, "How romantic."

Then the woman finished her request with, "Because if he snores, I want him close enough to be able to punch him."

 

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"An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can you give me an example of one?"

"Sure," a teenage boy replied. "My father's new car."

Mikey's Funnies <funnies-owner@lists.
MikeysFunnies.com> - [forwarded by Gretchen Patti]

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WHY WOMEN WOULD LOVE BEING SANTA CLAUS

~ No early-morning decisions about what to wear to the office.

~ A gut the size of Fat Albert's is a job requirement.

~ One big black belt - accessorized for life!

~ No reason to have your colors done.

~ Sensible footwear.

~ Your children would adore you (even teenagers!).

~ Age discrimination? Not an issue.

~ Your co-workers know they'd better not pout.

http://www.mikeysfunnies.com/ -
[forwarded by Gretchen Patti]

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"The season of Advent was beginning, and I wanted to inform the children that, according to the Bible, Jesus is coming twice - once as the baby in the manger, and then as King. I asked the children, 'How did Jesus come the first time?'

"Little Ryan replied, 'Down the chimney'"

~Rev. Dick Dinges, Lynnhaven Colony Congregational Church, Virginia Beach, VA

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I called a friend and asked what he was doing.

He replied that he was working on "aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum, and steel under a constrained environment."

I was impressed...

Upon further inquiring, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.

Mikey's Funnies <funnies-owner@lists.MikeysFunnies.com>

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Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.

~Mary Ellen Kelly

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My five children and I were playing hide-and-seek one evening. With the lights turned off in the house, the kids scattered to hide, and I was "it." After a few minutes, I was able to locate all of them. When it was my turn to hide, they searched high and low but couldn't find me. Finally one of my sons got a bright idea.

He went to the phone and dialed.

They found me immediately when my cell phone started ringing...

The Good Clean Funnies List [20181004] via GCFL
<gcfl@gcfl.net> - Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

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